Frank's LiveJournal

1:00pm: So long, and thanks for all the fish
The past 14 months have been a more or less continuous withering away of my connections to my own life. At this point, I'm not sure of my own sanity anymore. I could probably work my way through it all (patience, eh?), but I just don't have any good reasons (or excuses?) to bother. I don't feel like I'd be particularly missed, and I don't feel like anything in particular matters anyway. I'm replaceable.

Beyond that, I could write a long and rambling note, boring some to tears and making some feel horrible, but...fuck it, you know? This is for myself, not some kind of statement.

I'm looking at my camera, and I can't help but think of it as a symbol of my own state. So much optimism a few years ago, now it's dinged and battered and doesn't even power on right a lot of the time. It can still capture beauty, now and then, but it's harder than it should be, and sometimes missed altogether because the camera can't do it anymore.

I've opened up my Photobucket. There's a lot of random in there, but just about every picture I've ever taken (and a bunch that I saved) that I thought was worth anything will be in there, somewhere. Access password is "cheshirecat".

9:55am: How do you stop speeding?
(NSFW) With tits, of course!

I wonder how nudists would react to this. Victorians would spooge themselves/faint over exposed ankles (maybe the fainting was from those corsets which are nowadays relegated to BDSM and shitty fashion statements and Rocky Horror Picture Show?), and conversely I'm sure some beachfront Frenchpeople don't even bat an eye at nude youngsters frolicking in the surf.

Not that I have anything against topless Scandinavians, but it seems like a gimmick which won't actually be terribly effective.

12:32am: KITTY
Nora, the piano-playing cat.

7:01pm: Finally took the CZ-82 home
Fucking Jim Crow laws.

( Pictures )

***

Some days, I really just want to walk away from everything and start over where nobody knows me.

1:00pm: Oog
UPD: Captions and other LJ-ish stuff

( Pictures )

***

Jessica and I hit Hung's Asian Bistro last night. Interesting decor, heavily Thai food but Japanese motif. Beats me. Food was pretty good, and the red bean ice cream (dessert) was delicious. Thai Villa had better pad see-u, but I guess it's a style thing. I prefer Chinese-style wide noodles anyway.

We then wandered around downtown for about two hours until our hands stopped functioning right. I'm impatient to see how Jessica's shots turn out.

Came back, hit Cup A Joe for some hot cocoa, and then back to my apartment to watch Eternal Sunshine.

7:22am: Jesus Christ
That song "Unpretty" comes to mind, except "unfunny" instead.

*scratches head*

Oh well, guess I should do some reading for quizzes and tests today.

***

HEY ARAS WE STILL NEED TO GO SHOOTING

8:54pm: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
Session Start (Stiletto Null:Jessica Phipps): Mon Feb 05 20:51:36 2007
[20:51:40] Stiletto Null: OH MY GOD
[20:51:43] Stiletto Null: IT'S FULL OF STARS
[20:51:49] Stiletto Null: X-D
[20:52:08] Jessica: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
[20:52:08] *** Auto-response sent to Jessica Phipps: I'm around, someplace
[20:52:15] Stiletto Null: I DON'T KNOW WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING
[20:52:19] Stiletto Null: ???
[20:52:36] Jessica: OMG CAUSE YOU DID FIRST
[20:52:41] Stiletto Null: NO YUO
[20:52:44] Jessica: WAIT
[20:52:47] Jessica: ARE YOU DRUNK
[20:53:05] Stiletto Null: NO AND I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S SAD OR NOT
[20:53:16] Jessica: OMG SAD PANDA
[20:53:22] Stiletto Null: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
[20:53:36] Jessica: ROFLLOLLMAO

6:03pm: Sigh
Anyway, I don't think I've said a thing on the back-and-forth LJ comments which wasn't at least slightly self-mocking, but hey, sarcasm and Internets don't mix. Apologies to the usual.

***

So speaking of people taking themselves entirely too seriously...

April. Wiccan. Way off the deep end into magicks and all that stuff. Whoa. Ask a girl how she's doing, get back a bunch of religious stuff. Whoa.

***

I conned Andrew out of a lot of money today, and I think he liked it.

7:34am: Hmph
I should probably avoid LJ when tipsy. While I don't quite disagree with anything I posted yesterday, I could probably have done better.

Oh well.

I can't think of a single person whose company I actually enjoy for extended periods of time who isn't at least slightly snarky, assholish, bitchy, etc.. I can't stand people who are nice 24/7; they just get boring after a while.

Social commentary on the nature of humor? Maybe. Then again, I know of very few highly intelligent-yet-interesting people who aren't at least a little bit cynical.

***

Today, I need to...

• Do dishes
  
• Get groceries

Stuff I should/could have done, like, Saturday.

12:03am: I guess I could say I'm scratching my ass, but that would be too much like LJ-provocation
at someone who's probably not reading this anyway.

You know, I managed to annoy Jen this exact same way. Sort of. Maybe? Fuck. Anyhow, chances of Lisa reading this are slim~nil (and the only way we "know" each other at all is through LJ anyway, which further reduces the usefulness of this post...but what the hell), but I guess it's worth stating:

If you think I'm saying something unusually stupid, oversimplified, or silly, or even just horribly wrong...consider that I probably know this, and I'm doing it to make some kind of point.

Also, if I sound a little over-flippant about something philosophical, personal, etc. it's probably because I agree with you, have likely been through similar mental shenanigans, and have decided that I didn't actually gain much in the way of enlightenment other than fuller recognition of just how absurd our end of the carbon cycle is.

Or something. For those of you who read her journal, report back and tell me if I'm being a douche, or if I'm just playing (too) loose with my usual abrasiveness.

Sarcasm aside, people take themselves too seriously. And then get offended when I say something satirical, even if I'm not actually disagreeing or attacking in any way. And THEN try too damned hard to be diplomatic in saying things which amount to "you are an asshole", when that should be a perfectly acceptable and healthy exchange.

Words are overrated. I guess I am at least a bit of an asshole, but most of you wouldn't bother to talk to me anyway if I wasn't, would you?

***

By the end of this week, I'm going to be so spoiled on Papa John's BBQ Chicken & Bacon pizza the thought of it will make me ill. I guess Andrew will be happy about that, since I keep ordering the stuff and he keeps eating it because it's around.

6:41am: Heh
But there are only like two wet pussies in this video...

Holy fuck the cheetah segment is funny.

***

Went out to Sushi Blues last night with Izzy. One of her actress friends (Kristin?) showed up. It was a good time (talking smack, joking, etc.; bar things), up until her boyfriend called and Kristin got all depressed and they had to go. Izzy owed Kristin a favor, so Izzy went to take care of her or something.

*shrug*

Sushi Blues' lychee martini and gin gimlet are excellent, by the way.

1:14am: what the
I'll be rejoining the dance team once Bronze team starts meeting again. :) I'll also do Silver team lessons, though—my technical level is kinda weird (levels, plural, more like), since I have lots of instruction in the Latin syllabus dances but almost none in Standard.

11:24pm: Stuffs
No photos tonight, because by the time we'd eaten and cleaned guns and stuff, it was 11:00. Ah well.

Watching Jessica fire off battle rifles is funny as hell, because she's small (compared to me, anyway). I'm trying to decide if random guys at the range were hitting on her or not.

***

Work schedule for next week:

• Sunday: 7:00a to 12:00p, Mission Valley
  
• Tuesday: 6:00p to close, Mission Valley
  
• Saturday: 6:00p to close, Mission Valley

10:24am: Snow!
Not a bad way to start February.

( Pictures )

12:35am: WTF 12:30am
Well, that was a nice nap. Now to un-ass myself and get to a computer lab, and do a few hours' worth of BME342 homework which I could've done a week ago and have now budgeted about eight hours for, and which will probably take me about four once I actually get under way.

( I thought this was fitting. Not particularly safe for work. )

1:09pm: Package received
♥ Susannah



***

This Softer World is kinda harsh.

12:42am: Winter
Well, some of my friends' personal lives are imploding, some are taking off, etc..

I'm cautiously optimistic about this week; Thursday evening at least should be a lot of fun. Shooting, dinner, then downtown w/ cameras with Jessica.

Naptime, then up at 3:30 to do a lab writeup. As far as I can tell, I've already finished all the hard stuff, so it shouldn't take me very long.

12:16am: Four years
I just noticed that most of the color is gone from my keychain.

Back in Research in Chemistry, second semester junior year, we got to play with anodizers and little strips of titanium. Mine was anodized in a bunch of different colors, such that the thicker oxide layers were toward the "tip" (away from the hole I drilled for a keychain ring). It was a neat gradient; I remember wirebrushing off the first attempt because I wanted it to be banded instead of (relatively) smooth.

We got to play with the anodizers a little bit after I met Lauren—I made two, and she has the other one. So that puts the date of manufacture somewhere in March 2003.

I guess those layers have worn down. The whole thing's kinda yellowish now, with a bit of iridescence where the thicker layers used to be and some traces of purple inside of dented (and therefore sheltered) regions.

4:28pm: Got my first pistol!
( Studio picture at Temptations )

***

( Guns guns guns )

10:57pm: Err
This one's for Susannah.

All "unsexy" remarks aside, isn't bagginess really bad for being streamlined? For that matter, those suits seem like they would get uncomfortably warm.

***

For geeks in general

9:09pm: ahahahahaha
Like cats? Click.

11:50pm: Family.
Bah.

***

I looked at the homework that Kat was spazzing about. Looks easy enough. Poor girl, she didn't pay enough attention in Statics and now she's paying the price. As usual, I seem to be the one of the bunch—me, Kat, Nathan, Brad—who actually understands what's going on, but I get the lowest scores because I'm lazy as hell. >_>

Bedtime, up in three hours to actually do homework and laundry.

***

Leah is so funny. She was totally monopolizing me in Social Dance today, and I can't really complain. A couple of other girls shot her dirty looks. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or harried or what. It seems like most of the "HAY MEET MEMBERS OF OPPOSITE SEX HURRRR" types have dropped, so there actually aren't any people in there whom I dislike. :)

***

I got stymied yesterday when I tried to get pistol permits. I need proof of Wake County residence and my DL has to match. Oh well, I'll hit the DMV tomorrow after class.

8:24am: MY CHILDRENS
LET ME SHOW YOU THEM

Quoted E-mail behind the cut.

( what )

I'm trying to decide if this person's just a scammer in the Nigerian Pyramid Scheme vein, trying to set up a burglary, or just plain retarded. I'm thinking scammer at this point.

9:27am: Subs
Buy One Get One Free at Penn Station!

I didn't even know Penn Station existed in Raleigh.

12:32am: Birthday post


Oh well, at least I got to order my first handgun. And I get to buy myself some Bailey's.